Weight, weight...WEIGHT

People don't get it that even when i say that i am happy for this body, hearing someone 
talking about losing weight make me want too...
but now i am very afraid of it same time.
Sometimes i lose 2-6 kilos wary quickly (onetime in year 5-6) 
so i am decided not to lose any weight....
but simple one bad picture can change this all. 
Okey, that how person look in picture is up to photographer, i know it  but still...

Usually in photos i look like normal.
I think so because i fit japanese one size clothes and my usually size in shops is S/M(because boobs) 
but when i see fail pictures where i do look fat/little bit bigger i stat think: what if this is the truth?
Now i am 164 cm tall and 57 kg so i should be normal.
my the body mass index  is ~21.3 and its say it too....
I want lose wight but i am made contract whit my GF that i will not lose any weight, same whit her.
I know that 48kg would not be enough for me.
All my friend are too said tat i am not, but who would said the truth?
but when i look my picture's i realize that most of them i look good,
and i am not even think do i look fat or not when i am take them.....
i am photographer and i am realized too in time that its up to me how the one who i am taking pictures look, i don't want my pictures look bad, and i want them look like i see them in front  me.
i am take couple time photos where person looked large even when they ware more skinny than me...
I am confused because usually people think more about themselves that they are fat,
but i think that i am normal.... i am not most pretty/cute/handsome/skinniest
but i think i am between them, not good and not bad

in end i post my pictures

(red jacket one, derp face)


  1. Dear young person, stop worrying your weight and your size. You want to be skinny, why? Don't tell me, because other people around you are skinnier than you. Why can't young people accept themselves as they are? I blame society pouring skinny images every which way you look for this. But why should you not be happy the way you are? Why not to enjoy and say SCREW YOU! I'M FABULOUS! Why to be so self conscious when you could live the life as best fits you. Not the other way around that you should fit into some certain image. You are You and you can't change that. Size is the smallest thing in the end that matters in this world. What matters is the happiness: you make yourself happy and enjoy every split second of what and who you are the Way you are. Don't change. Eat good food and no compromises. I have so many dear friends who are no longer in this world because they worried too much of their looks, size and weight. Weight is only numbers not a price tag of your personality.

    1. I want be more androgynous,i know that what i want is under weight and i try to be happy in this size etc but same time i want be really skinny